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I've Got a Theory


Date:  January 13, 2004
Place:  Telgar Weyr's Lake Shore
Game:  PernMUSH
Copyright Info:  The World of Pern is copyright(c) to Anne McCaffrey 
l967. The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright.

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Kassi's Note:  ...Or maybe midgets!  Merielan's got a secret (and a 
bucket), and when she runs across a certain greenrider who's frazzled
from hours with a colicky child, she finds that trying to keep 
something behind her teeth can lead the one she's speaking to into
formulating some very colorful theories.

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The Log:

Alerith lumbers in from the central bowl.

The thin wailing that's splitting the summer night air isn't Kassima's
doing, and a good thing, since if she were making *that* sound something
would be seriously wrong with her both physically and mentally. More likely
the source is the infant she carries in her arms, cradled against one
shoulder so that he has plenty of room to scream his head off *over* that
shoulder without suffocating. It's probably not difficult to guess why
Lysseth's chosen a place as far distant as she can get while still being
within protect-and-observe range of her rider and rider's offspring.

Alerith carefully picks his way along. Whirling eyes pass over Lysseth and
then her rider, a rumble is his polite greeting. Finding an empty patch of
sand the brown sits down on his haunches, head raised up to the sky. After
a few moments he glances down and back the way he came, crooning in an
insistent manner. There's some crashing noises--heralding the arrival of
-something-.

Merielan heads over from the central bowl.

Merielan enters making far more noise then one person alone has any right
to. Except that Meri isn't alone. Tonight seems to be the night for making
noise. Meri's trailing a bucket which comes up to her knees, a clattering,
clinking, noisy wooden bucket. Stopping short upon sight of Kassi,
offspring and lifemate Meri blushes. "Kassi." She murmurs looking
surprised. Alerith is shot a baleful, accusing look.

Well, the noise doesn't make Kaisan's screaming *cease* any. Kassi shoots a
frazzled look in the direction from whence it came, without immediately
ceasing her litany of soft words and snatches of song, not audible as more
than a murmur from any distance. It doesn't help. Eventually Kassi gives up
enough to greet in return, a bit wearily, "Heyla, Meri. What's the deal
with the bucket?"

"Bucket?" Meri repeats, looking as innocent as one can when one is trailing
a bucket. A bucket clearly meant for -some- purpose. Most likely a
nefarious purpose. Meri sets the bucket aside, conviently behind a stand of
a few rocks. Out of sight, out of mind and all that. Her attention focuses
on the babe. "He's crying." She notes, stating the -very- obvious. "Has he
been doing that long?" The frazzled look Kassi's got would indicate that he
-has-, but Meri doesn't seem to be too quick on the uptake tonight. Hiding
something will do that to you. "Want some help? I don't mind--it'd good for
me and all. Get me back into practice."

"Long enough." There's a lot of tiredness expressed in that one phrase. But
Kassi doesn't relinquish her son, instead continuing to rub his back and
resuming walking in circles--small circles now, though, the better to
converse in. "He's cutting a tooth *and* methinks he has colic, and Kazy
decided t'have a fit tonight because he wasn't getting enough attention,
which just made Kai scream the more; I finally couldn't take both of 'em
and asked 'Maeva to look after Kazy, which he won't soon forgive me for.
But Kai at least can't *help* screaming. He'd only scream worse if'n anyone
whose name wasn't Kassima or I'sai picked him up right now--much to
'Maeva's consternation, that--but I appreciate the offering, believe me."
She does get one blessed moment of reprieve as Kaisan gulps for breath. His
face is very red and damp with tears, his black hair gone all-askew.
"...And aye, *bucket*. And practice? What, Meri, d'you *need* t'get back
into practice?" She squints through the darkness at the brownrider,
specifically at her midsection.

Merielan seems to realize that she's said something incredibly stupid. Or
at least leading. "No--no--no practice." Meri hastily responds. "I uh--just
meant pratice for babysitting. For you--and for Kichevio--when you--er want
me to babysit." She nods sagely, trying her best to look believable and
utterly trustworthy and as if she isn't hiding anything. Cocking her head
to the side--the better to regard the squalling baby--she takes a few steps
closer to the pair. Maybe hoping that the farther away from the bucket she
is the less questions will be asked about it. "I feel for you Kassi, I
really do. I remember when Erika was teething. It was awful. I swear she
didn't stop crying for three straight days at one point. Have you tried
dabbing a bit--just a bit--of numbweed on his gums?"

"Right," says Kassima. "Want t'try running what you really meant by me this
time?" She's dry-voiced, but there is amusement there. "And: buck. Ket. I'm
nay letting that go, Meri. You should've just lied about it at the outset;
now I know it *means* something. Ach, I have. But he's nay liking the
taste, and he keeps trying to get it off, which makes his *tongue* numb and
he yells about *that*--I did it anyway a bit ago, so little I can't really
tell if'n it's done aught. With the colic... well, y'know." She turns her
head long enough to rest her lips against her baby's sweat-dampened hair.
"Poor wee bairn. I do pity and love him, but I have t'wish he'd be *quiet*."

"It doesn't mean anything." Meri says quickly. Too quickly. For some reason
her hand reaches up, gently patting her knot in the way someone would pat
their dog whose just done a new trick. "Really Kassi, it's just a bucket."
Right. Still, Meri returns to the other worrisome matter. Her hand moves
down from her knot, smoothing her shirt over the smooth rise of her
stomach. See--she isn't hiding anything. Except the bucket. "I need
practice to babysit Kassi. It's been awhile since Erika and Kiere were
little enough to be held." That's her story and she's sticking to it.
Picking a likely-looking rock, Meri gingerly sits down on it. Now she's
close enough to converse, but not close enough for the full force of the
babies howls to assault her ear drums. "Whwat about a rag soaked in milk?
Or juice? Just something to distract him? I had to do that with Kiere a
time or two. He wasn't as bad as Erika but it was a close thing."

The look Kassi gives Merielan is more exasperated this time. "I'm nay
buying it," she says. "If'n you are pregnant, Meri, why nay just come out
and say it? The whole Weyr will be knowing soon enough." Wryly, "'Tisn't
the sort of thing that's easy t'*hide*... you really get *that many* calls
t'babysit?" Those baby lungs are certainly still giving off howls. Kassi
shifts Kaisan to the other shoulder, just in case this might somehow help.
"So long as he's colicky I don't want t'put much else in his stomach.
Sometimes a damp rag with sweetener inside helps him, though, teething; he
can gnaw on it and likes to more than he likes gnawing on leather."

Merielan shakes her head and offers vehemently. "Kassi, I promise you--I.
Am. Not. Pregnant." Having established that, if not the reason she even
alluded to it in the first place. She shrugs, adding versimiltude to her
otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative. "Why would I lie about being
pregnant? As you say it's not something I could hide for very long. And if
I -was- pregnant it's nto as if there's anything wrong with it. So rest
assured I am not. Pregnant that is." And just to add the capper her head
nods up and down. "I'm very good at babysitting. Kich asks me every once in
awhile. And my foster mother Nuala when I visit home. It's just tapered off
lately as I've had more work with the new responsibilites and so on." With
a winning smile Meri tries to change the subject in a fairly heavy-handed
manner. "Have you seen the eggs yet? I watched a bit of the clutching--laid
a bet on some of the eggs." (repose)

"So you're trying t'get pregnant?" Kassima tries. "And that bucket
*doesn't* contain vomit? Well, I'm glad of that. Vomit *that* noisy would
be a disturbing thing. But there's pregnancy involved in this somewhere,
you can mock me; and the only reason I could think of for you t'hide it is
if'n 'tisn't *K'nan's*... hmmm. Weren't you fingering your knot earlier? Is
the bairn *K'ran's*? Did you get drunk and sleep with him while he wore the
white, sparkly buttless pants and now you're in denial? That's it, isn't
it! Wait until I tell Is, he'll love that." Even Kaisan seems to quiet a
*trifle* to hear this fascinating theory. It's probably just illusion. "The
eggs I've seen. Put a few marks on 'em, but nay so many... I don't know,
there just weren't many that stood out t'me. What d'you think the green
spread's apt t'be?"

Merielan has a pained expression on her face, swirled with utter confusion.
"White sparkly -buttless- pants?" She repeats, eyes wide and surprised. It
takes a moment and then other facts seem to register. "K'ran!?" She gasps
out in a half-shout, looking horrified at the thought. "No--no it's not
K'ran's! Why would I be having -K'ran's- baby?" She pauses in her
semi-tirade of defense and snorts "And if I was for some reason having
K'ran's baby it certaintly wouldn't be because I was driven mad with lust
at the sight of his -pants-." Having disposed of -that- conjecture Meri
still looks confused. "Vomit?" She ventures and then shakes her head
carefully. "No--really--no vomit. No bucket--nothing. Really." Alerith gets
another glare, though what -he's- done to merit it isn't clear at the
moment. "So don't tell Is -anything-." She ends with a small huff of air,
quiet for several moments, just catching her breath after that long spate
of talk.

"Because you slept with him drunk," Kassi sings out, sing-songing indeed
over her son's hiccuping cries. Which is not to say that she stops trying
to soothe him for even a moment. "Didn't you? Drunk people do *strange*
things, and shouldn't I know? So. 'Twill just *have* t'tell Is. He'd never
forgive me for keeping such juicy gossip from him. Unless, a'course, you
want t'tell me the *real* story, and then I could tell him that
*instead*... because there was a bucket, and I'm going t'assume there's
something pregnancy-related in it until I have good evidence otherwise."

"Kassi!" Meri protests looking stricken. "I am -not- pregnant. And there is
-no- bucket. And if there -is- a bucket there isn't anything -in- the
bucket." A pause and a muttered "Not yet." The mutter is low--perhaps low
enough for Kassi to hear. But--the question is whether Meri -meant- it to
be heard and thus threw in a non-sequiter or if she truly meant it to be a
mutter. Still. "Really Kassi. I am not pregnant. Nor will I be pregnant
in..in..um..soon..er..right." Meri quits while she's ahead and just simply
tries asking. "Please don't tell Is. He thinks I'm strange enough already.
And I'm -not- pregnant. And if I -was- pregnant it -wouldn't- be by K'ran.
All right? If I was pregnant. Which I'm not. It would be -K'nan's- baby." A
sigh "Which ought to make you happy as it'll be another 'k' name out there."

"But there is a bucket! A very *noisy* bucket. One must wonder how it could
possibly be empty. One must also wonder why, if'n 'tis empty, you're
carrying it around. Could you be fetching Lake water? Could you need
t'clean your weyr floor after you threw up on it in a bout of morning
sickness after conceiving K'ran's secret love child?" There's just no hope
of Kassima dropping that, is there? "But what's most interesting is your
verb tenses here. '*It's* nay K'ran's,' and, 'it *will* be another K.' This
is really harming your attempts t'be denying it; and I'm sorry, but if'n I
don't know the truth, why, I have t'speculate with *someone*. Who better
than Is? He might think of theories even better than mine!"

Merielan is starting to get the look of a cornered tunnel snake. Her eyes
are wide and flicking this way and that as if looking for an escape route.
"All right Kassi." She lets out with a sigh. Standing she walks over to the
semi-hidden bucket and picks it up. Walking back over to Kassi with the
clattering bucket she sits down once more. The bucket is carefully arranged
so that Kassi can't quite see -inside- of it yet. "Ok Kassi. Ok." Another
sigh. "I'll bargain with you. I'll even let you talk to Is about it all. I
tell you about the bucket and we let the pregnancy thing drop. Deal?"

If Kassima weren't so tired, she'd probably do a better job of hiding that
feline-in-the-cream expression... but, shells; she's got a screaming baby
on her shoulder, a screaming toddler waiting in the Caverns, and a bunch of
Wingriders to lead who may not be screaming now but who could,
theoretically, begin to scream at any time. She has to take her smugness
where she can get it. "All right," she agrees happily. "Tell me the truth
and 'twill drop the pregnancy thing, until and unless you give me more
reason later t'wonder about it again. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough." Meri agrees, sighing with relief. "But I will tell you
-this- about the whole pregnancy thing. -IF- I do have another baby it
-won't- be K'ran's. All right?" Having established that, Meri reaches
behind her back and retrieves the bucket. The bucket is layed in front of
Kassi. Shown to be, despite noisy, quite empty. "It's for S'tud." Meri
admits, as if that explains everything. And perhaps--for Meri--it does.

"I figured 'twas *unlikely*," Kassi freely admits. "But y'never do know,
sometimes, who might spawn with whom... y'might want t'watch yourself,
though. Lorieth's glowing--if'n Alerith catches her when she flies...." She
promised to drop the subject; after that half-tease, half-warning, she
does, and leans forward enough to peek into the bucket. "Are you going
t'cut off his dangly bits and plop them in that bucket?" she inquires.

Merielan groans, glancing towards the brown with an unreadable expression.
"That's all I need. Alerith catching Lorieth and me ending pregnant -by-
J'lyn." She chuckles "That wouldn't be good either for the 'K's'. It'd be a
baby with a 'J' name." Leaving the subject of pregnancy die--finally. She
regards the bucket with a odd little twist to her lips. "No, no nothing
that bloody. It's for sand. Did you hear about what he did to my weyr? With
the snow?" She carefully leaves out what -she- did to -his- weyr before he
even touched hers. (repose)

"You could give the babies--since 'twould probably be twins--both K names
out of sheer spite?" Kassi suggests wistfully. "*Sand*. Heavier than blood,
more's the pity for you. Can't say that I did; what'd he do?"

"Well-" Meri starts and then launches into her story. The tale of S'tud and
Meri and the Battle of the Weyr Trashings. "I put a snow-fort in his weyr.
Because--well--he just deserved it. Then he asked me to run an errand for
him, to take this package to High Reaches--which I did." She shrugs looking
a bit pained. "I knew it was a bad idea--but I felt bad about the snow
fort. So Gay and I went over to 'Reaches but there wasn't anyone there by
the name S'tud gave me. So everyone convinced me to open the package and
there was a snowball in it with a note." Meri humphs, tapping the bucket
with one finger. "The note said he was having a snow -fight- in my weyr." A
sigh "So Gay and I rushed back--but only in time to find my weyr a mess."

Kassima asks, shrewd, "What, just *because*? That's an awful lot of work
for just *because*. And I'll wager K'nan wasn't thrilled t'find *his* weyr
wrecked by this warring too; can't have been pleasant for you. So now
you're getting a form of revenge, am I right?"

"S'tud and I don't get along." Meri murmurs darkly in answer to Kassi's
first question. "Haven't since we were candidates." She nods moving along
with her story. "Yes, revenge. It'll be perfect--absolutely perfect." Her
grin is somewhat frightening. "K'nan was -not- happy with me. Not happy at
all. So now S'tud is going to pay. I'm going to build a sand castle or two
in -his- weyr. Maybe a little pond in one corner." A little chuckle of
enjoyment even at the idea of it all. "Whatever else I can think of."

"The motherly part of me, which is admittedly at the fore these days,"
Kassi says, pressing another kiss to Kai's temple; the baby's howls have
finally grown softer, if not stopped, as he just plain runs out of energy,
"wants t'remind you that revenge brings more revenge, and invite you
t'consider what he might do t'your weyr in return for a sand castle in his;
but the greenrider part of me thinks revenge is *good* and is more inclined
t'cheer you on. So 'twill stay on the sidelines and watch with interest,
methinks."

Merielan stands, taking her bucket, whistling to Alerith. "Well I can't do
it tonight. I'll think it over a bit--I don't think K'nan would appreciate
a sand castle in our weyr."

Merielan eases up onto Alerith's broad brown back.

"Nay unless he could coat it with the blood of his enemies," Kassi agrees
oh-so-sadly. "And it might be better nay t'tempt him. On the other hand,
if'n he does? I want t'see it! But clear skies for now, Meri, if'n that
means you're going."

Alerith takes flight, using the thermals rising from the bowl to carry him
aloft.