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Daughter, Tell Me, Tell Me


Date:  May 23, 2002
Place:  Telgar Weyr's Lake Shore
Game:  PernMUSH
Copyright Info:  The World of Pern is copyright(c) to Anne McCaffrey 
l967. The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright.

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Kassi's Note:  Finding a title for this one wasn't easy.  It's another
of those logs that isn't exactly an Event--it's a discussion, and about
quite a number of things.  Kay's come to visit Kassi to break the news
of her recent promotion, but the topic doesn't stay there.  Naturally,
they end up going over Kay's love life (some things are traditional!) 
and a bit over Kassi's too before they're done.  There's plenty of 
mother-daughter sappiness in this.  Let the diabetic reader beware!  
I've also left in the Weaver chat about Kassi's promotion to Supermodel 
for posterity, even though it's not connected to the RP. :)

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The Log:


Pheirth flies in from above and lands in the waters of the lake.

Kaylira carefully climbs down to the ground.

Kaylira settles Pheirth in for his enjoyment and then sees to removing her
riding gear.

The night is dark, and so it might almost be possible to miss the
half-curled shape of Lysseth curving around the Lake's shore... at least if
it weren't for her blue eyes; and similarly, it'd be easy to miss her rider
and said rider's youngest daughter sprawled out on the grass if it weren't
for the sound of singing. "Get down, get down, Maecolvin; your bridal here
you see--I have drowned seven young ladies, and the eighth one you shall
be." It's low-voiced, so that Kassi won't wake the now-sleeping Kisai--and
stops altogether at Lysseth's soft greeting rumble. Sitting up, the
greenrider calls, "Minx, is that you?"

Kaylira nods, not tha tyou see it, but the soft laughter following is sure
indication. "Tis. I thought you might be here - and even if not, the walk
back to hte weyr would do me good. Its a night for sky, isnt' it?"

Kassima folds her legs with a muted rustle of grass. "Aye," she agrees,
still back over her shoulder. "Kiss and I were star-watching, only she got
a bit drowsy so I started singing her t'sleep... think she fell off three
songs ago, t'be honest. Guess I got caught up in it." There's warmth in her
voice, both for the sleeping child of whom she speaks and the much more
alert child to whom she speaks. "You'd need more than a walk t'get t'my
weyr, kit. Come sit with us and tell me what brings you hunting me at such
an hour of night?" As if she hasn't always visited Kay at late hours herself.

Kaylira shrugs, coming to sit near her mother, settling where she can watch
the sleeping form of her youngest sib. "Do they always look so peaceful
when they sleep?"

"*You* generally tossed and turned half the night. Probably dreaming of
beating up all your nemeses or some such thing. But Kiss is nigh always
quiet...." Kassi reaches an absent hand to smooth her youngest daughter's
silken, not-quite-true-black hair; the four-Turn-old barely stirs.
"Peaceful or nay, they always look like darlings. And you're changing the
subject."

Kaylira nods again, "I do that, don't I? Change subjects when I'm thinking
how to tell a thing or ask a question. But I am well. You needn't fret. In
fact, its good news I bear."

Kassima squints a narrow-eyed look towards Kay. "'Ask a question.' That
part worries me--well, but I'm glad you're well, though I can't say it
surprises me t'hear so. I've enough spies at Ista t'be telling me if'n
aught goes terribly wrong in your life since *you're* sometimes slow to
write." The motherly chide is fond and at least half-teasing; Kassi's in
quite the good mood, it seems. "So tell me your good news, since I can't be
sure of whether anyone will pass on tales of that variety."

Kaylira's smirk carries through on her voice. "I'm shocked you ahvent'
heard the tale of the racous bender I went on, and how I singlehandedly
seduced three riders before I had to call it an eve!"

"Oh, I have," Kassi confirms in her very driest voice. "I just hadn't
realized that counted as *good* news."

Kaylira undoes the knot at her shoulder and passes it over wordlessly.
"Perhaps not."

Kassima accepts the knot, and though the light is poor, her long,
well-practiced fingers are capable of reading its rank in the loops.
"...Wingsecond," she says slowly. Not sounding pleased yet, but not
displeased either--more surprised and perhaps a touch bemused. "Of Timor?
Already?"

Kaylira counters, "Would you have turned it down?"

"Probably nay. I didn't when 'twas m'turn," Kassi admits, running the knot
through her hands once more before passing it back. "I'm just--surprised.
With your being so fresh from Weyrlinghood. I'd been a full rider four
Turns, though admittedly 'twasn't the fastest promotion ever by leagues.
D'you think you can be doing it, minxlet?"

Kaylira fingers the knot herself, letting its loops and whorls act as a
focus for her thoughts. "Yes. I do. I just worry that maybe its because I
want to more than I really can." Her head ducks as she sighs and puts the
knot back in its appointed place at her shoulder. "I wasn't expecting it.
Tamina didn't seem put out. Tella was downright pleased. M'llon said he
thought I deserved it - and none of it makes sense.." Of course, you knew
she'd get around to her questions - this is just the prelude.

Kassima drops her folded hands into her lap and reasons, "'Tis a position
of some prestige, a cause for pride. Very few people would turn it down
whether they thought themselves capable or nay." My. She's helpful.
"M'llon's your lover; I could see where you'd wonder about him. Tella is a
new Wingleader herself and may nay have a good sense of what she needs in a
Wingsecond. You've probably thought of all these things, aye? But that's
*good*, if'n you have, y'know; I'd be more worried if'n you came t'me with
that knot in hand, bursting with pride, without that questioning tone of
voice when you explain the qualifications." Her voice softens, and she
reaches a hand to rest lightly on her daughter's shoulder. "You're greener
than I'd want in a Wingsecond of m'own, minx. I won't be lying t'you. But
that doesn't mean you can't do the job--and your *Wingleader* has faith in
you; that's important. She thinks you can do the job. D'you think Tella
would really be promoting you if'n you thought 'twould be putting the lives
of her own in jeopardy, t'be having you there? If'n she thought 'twere nay
best for the Wing?"

Kaylira's small laugh isn't bitter - but its not quite happy either. "No.
Nor woudl M'llon let her if he thought so - I can't believe he would, even
knowing we share a bed at times. But I'm afraid of what it will mean -
knowing that is my responsibility. Leading riders, and any injury taken is
part mine to blame."

Kassima adds in a more thoughtful tone of voice, "Aside from which, she may
want a Wingsecond whose growth she can shape directly... so you'll nay have
a chance t'develop any bad habits a'fore you take the knot. 'Tis a valid
course if'n the Wingleader's sure of herself." Shaking off the thought, she
tightens her hold--though not enough so to make it painful, only firm.
"*Good.* 'Tis *good* that you're worried--you should always be aware of the
weight behind the rank, m'heart. You've a great responsibility t'your own
and should take it seriously. Only don't take it too much so. The Wing
isn't your responsibility alone; 'tis your Wingleader's above all. She'll
carry it with you and she'll take the bulk of it. You won't be alone. And
every injury taken *won't* be partially your fault--sometimes injuries
happen out of pure accident that the best Wingleader in the world couldn't
possibly hope t'prevent; you'll do yourself nay good beating yourself up
over 'em all." There's a pause, and her crooked smile is both vaguely
visible and audible as she appends, "Nay that 'tis easy t'remember that
when the time comes."

Kaylira laughs, this time a truer thing. "I think thats what M'llon tried
to warn of - the balance between accepting and blame. I know not all injury
can be prevented - I've done enough things totally by bad timing or chance
in my life. Even something as simple as walking through a room can cause a
stumble. I'm just not where you are - you've learned what is your burden
and what is not."

"And when forces like wind and Thread become involved... or lightning. I
saw a dragon hit by lightning once. Nay anyone could *ever* have prevented
that, you just couldn't." Kassi moves her hand to ruffle at Kay's curls,
the other hand absently smoothing Kiss's hair too as the toddler turns over
in her sleep. "That doesn't mean you can take any injury *lightly*, mind
you. You and your Wingleader will have t'examine whether it could have been
prevented a'fore you can afford t'release all concern for your actions.
But, shells, you know that; why am I lecturing you?" Drawing both hands
back into her lap, the greenrider points out, "But I didn't *start* knowing
that, kit. I learned it from two excellent men who stood beside me and the
magnificent leader we served. It took time, and 'twill take time with you.
There's nay shame in that." She laughs softly. "D'you know--I'm sure I told
you--that 'twas promoted t'Wingsecond m'self while 'twas carrying you? 'Tis
almost as if'n things have come around full-circle with this."

Kaylira nods, seeming to have remembered that lore. Or perhaps she's only
agreeing with the full-circle comment. "I like Tella. We've had our moment
of truth and got past it, so I suppose if we can't work together now
without honesty and respect we never will. So far its been taken well - at
least nobody has said anything near enough my hearing to know they are
upset. And, I was quite proud when it happend - no, not as proud as..
happy. So very happy. I guess that takes me down a notch, doesnt' it,
coming here after the first flush."

Kassima asks, suspicious, "Moment of truth?" Uh-oh. "Those Wing shuffles
I've heard about may be helping your case--people are getting used t'so
many changes, a young, fresh Wingsecond won't seem as worrisome as it might
if'n 'twere a rock being tossed into a still pond. So t'speak. I'm glad
you're aware of the potential worries, but I'm glad you're happy too, kit."
For the first time since handed the knot, she breaks into the full, warm
smile she usually saves for Lysseth and her children. "I worry for you, but
I'm happy too. And proud. Faranth, your grandparents will be over the moon
t'hear it--they'll send *gifts*, y'know, and you'll be lucky if'n some of
our cousins don't show up at Ista t'plague you, or if'n next time you come
home they don't hop all over you. I wish you'd shared the first flush with
me, i'truth, but... a Wingsecond's life's a busy one. I understand."

Kaylira covers her face with her hands and chuckles - trying to keep sounds
low so as not to wake Kisai. "I hadn't thought of hte fuss they'll make!
Oh, dear." AS her amusement grows softer, her hands lower. "I wanted to
come, truly. I just got cuaght up in too many little things - including a
visit to Igen and giving Rulyn his greeting." However, she seems wont to
unburden, so unburden she does. "The first flight Pheirth lost, I seduced
Tella. We got through that. I don't know how much it has to do with her
trust."

Kassima's own laughter is nearly silent, but nonetheless genuine. "You'll
never hear the end of it. Your great-uncle Keyssin will probably write a
ballad in your *honor*, y'know." All right, so that's probably a tease,
since no such ballad was written about Kassi--at least, not that she'll
admit to in front of her children. She perks up visibly at the explanation.
"A visit t'Rulyn? How'd that go?" Trust her to be interested. The last,
now... it's met with a few moments of silence. "You seduced a woman.
That... isn't something I ever really thought you'd do, but--flight-lost is
flight-lost, and if'n she was willing and 'twere willing then there's nay
*shame* in it. Are you, ah, finding women attractive regularly?"

Kaylira makes a vague gesture with her hands. "She hadn't lost - we talked
about that after too.. Sorry, mum. I'm probably a lot more frank about
things than you remember. So much has happened these past four, five
turns.. I wanted someone. She was convenient. I'm not proud. But I won't be
ashamed either." She lets that sit upon your without answering the other
quite yet.

"You don't have any cause t'be ashamed. I won't claim I understand bedding
a woman without a *won* flight being involved," Kassima admits outright.
And forthright. "But I could scarce live in a Weyr as long as I have
without realizing that other people have different preferences, and that it
doesn't make 'em any worse or any better'n anyone else as people. Nay, I
know she's a greenrider." Though she gives a light sigh, she mutters, "I'm
thankful, I suppose, that she helped you, so long as she treated you well
in the doing."

Kaylira leans in placing her had to your shoulder. "I don't like woman that
way, no fear. But at hte time I needed someone. It is done. I won't destroy
myself dwelling. And Rulyn is very good looking. But young and a candidate."

<Weavers> Katlynn bbposts :)

Kassima automatically brings up her opposite hand to rest over yours. "I'm
nay disappointed t'hear it," she murmurs, though she sounds wry and no
little sheepish. "Getting used to a son-by-weyrmating someday, if'n you
decide t'pair off with a man permanently--and a'fore Khari beats you to
it--will be enough of a challenge for me. I do know how lost flights go."
She turns a bit red as she says that, for some reason, but it may not be
visible in the dark. "As much as a greenrider can. I'm glad you found
solace somewhere, even if'n 'twas in a place I'd nay expect. You liked him,
then?" It's asked out of interest, by the sound, rather than hopefulness as
such. "I haven't clue one whether you and he could hit it off, but he's a
fine young man. And I'm thinking, as someone who Impressed far from home
and family, that if'n you do like him, mayhaps you'd be a good friend t'him
if'n naught else. You'd have that in common--I'm nigh certain he'll Impress
something."


30   Katlynn           Thu May 23 22:50 2002 A promotion!


	Apparently thinking it was time to honour one of the Weaver's finest
models and evil-doer-extroidonaires, Katlynn announced over dinner this
evening that Kassima, of Telgar Weyr, was being promoted to a SUPERMODEL.
She also announced that she had no current plants to let said Greenrider
know that she had been promoted, but would let the gossip work it's way
around. A pair of frilly, fluffy, padded pink knickers have been hung up in
the Great Hall to commemerate the occasion, and word has it that they are a
pair of the famous 'Pink Pampers'. So just *how* did Kassima earn her
promotion? Well, Katlynn was overheard discussing it with her group of
mentees, saying that she thought Kassi had been the recipient of enough
evil threads and tortures to last her a lifetime, and so it was time to do
something about it. 

Katlynn, Weaver Craftmaster.
....................................WVR....................................


<Weavers> Kassima reads and yaaays! Kat, you saint you!


Q Idle Name       Position     Stu Posting    Location    
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    0s Kassima    SuperModel       TelgarWeyr Telgar Weyr Lake Shore 
    1m Katlynn    CraftMaster  TLR Weaverhall CraftMaster's Office - Weaver  
   19m Sauscony   Model            BendenRidi Craftsecond Sauscony's Quarter
------------------------------ ( 3 players ) -------------------------------


<Weavers> Sauscony woohoos!

<Weavers> Katlynn grins. "Congrats." ;)

<Weavers> Kassima is *highly* entertained. But almost hopes this doesn't
mean an end to the evil torture; I'd almost come to like that part. Which
isn't to say I'll be *wearing* those pink things any time soon. ;)

<Weavers> Katlynn says, "Oh no no no, definetly not an *end* to it. More
like an excuse for more O:)"

Kaylira remarks softly, "I hope he finds what he is looking for. I would
love to see him at Ista - makes getting to know a person easier.. Yes, I
liked him. Though he is quite shy still, I think."'

<Weavers> Kassima says, "Oh, dear gods in the heavens. I'm dooooomed. ;)"

"He's young, probably inexperienced... and a shy sort, aye. I've heard he's
more talkative to those he knows better," Kassi adds, with a quick smile.
"Probably like his mother. Ursa, I mean. Or his father, for that matter; he
had a shy period, I remember it quite well. I'll confess 'twould tickle me
if'n you and he did hit it off once he's past the whole nay-look-nay-touch
stage, but I'll nay be pressuring you; what will be, will be, and what
won't, won't."

Kaylira laughs turning her head to press a quick daughterly kiss to your
cheek. "Well, we'll see, no? I'm afraid I may have scared him off by
telling him why I thought you'd sent - or perhaps further by discussing
physicals."

Kassima's chortle is a bit wicked, even as she curves an arm around your
waist for a brief half-hug. "I don't think he's yet been subjected t'the
terror of a matchmaking mother. Ah, well, it should be interesting this way
t'see if'n he's still interested in getting t'know you--well, if'n you see
him again. I'm afraid t'ask what you said about physicals."

Kaylira chuckles. "Necessary pokings and proddings. He's a candidate, what
did you think I'd tell him?" Of course, a large amount of teasing is in
that statement.

Kassima crinkles her nose and aims a light elbow at Kay's ribs. "I don't
know if'n 'tis forbidden t'speak of such things t'Candidates. Faranth, poor
lad. Imagine having a Wingsecond descend on you and tell you about how the
Healers are going t'poke you over!"

Kaylira laughs heartily, "Have no fear, I corrected his mistaken knowledge
before leaving. Now he knows I'm much worse than any physical could ever be
- did you know he rmembered my chasing him with a tunnelsnake in a bag? I'm
not even sure if hte memory I have of that is him!"

"Faranth help you if'n Ursa ever learns you've traumatized her son," Kassi
mutters, but she's clearly trying not to laugh herself. "Good Faranth,
minxlet, how many lads did you *do* that to?"

Kaylira isn't abashed, protesting laughingly, "If they weren't such
holdergirls about a little tunnelsnake - as if I'd even put one in the
bag!" She carefully avoids numbering the times.

Judging by the look Kassi gives, she noticed that avoidance. But she lets
it go; she's amused herself, and agrees, "'Twould be inhumane t'the
tunnelsnake, after all. I'd imagine you'd only put a *dead* one in there
if'n any 'tall."

Kaylira doesnt' answer that either. Some things she may want to try again..

"You aren't *still* chasing men with tunnelsnakes in sacks, are you?" Kassi
asks as the silence lengthens. She knows her daughter well.

Kaylira shakes her head. "No ma'am. But I do chase men... in a way."

Kassima aims a cuff at Kay's head, but it's so light that even if it
connected it would barely be a tap. "None of that ma'aming business!
Shells, though, you really do... but let me offer a wee bit of advice? Even
I know that chasing after men with dead 'snakes is nay way t'woo 'em
successfully. For the record."

Kaylira ducks the cuff. "Well, so far I've not been very successful at
wooing. I'm honest as I can be with myself, though. And I've decided I'm
happy with that. YOu dont mind, mum? I know you never had so many lovers" -
she says that word with care - " that we knew of."

"So long as you're happy, and aren't letting it get in the way of your
duties, why should I mind? I've had few enough lovers outside of flights
that you could count 'em on one hand without using all the fingers,"
Kassima admits frankly, and no little ruefully. "I'm nay even sure you
could call two of 'em that, given how much alcohol was involved. But that's
a lack of interest on men's parts and opportunity on mine more'n aught
else--'twill nay be bothered if'n you've plenty of lovers a'fore you
settle, if'n you settle."

Kaylira asks quietly, "And if I don't? I think I'd like to. Maybe. Its nice
to have someone near, to talk to. But I'm not so alone or lonely that I
need to settle."

Kassima murmurs, almost too quietly to be heard, "Fortunate lass." Her
nearest shoulder rises in a shrug. "If'n you don't, then you don't. I
haven't settled either, y'might notice; shells, I've six children by five
different sires, how could I say aught t'you about cleaving t'one man?
That's *your* choice entirely." Pause. "However, I have t'be asking... if'n
you weyrmate to one of these men older than me that you seem so fond of...
*please* let him know that if'n he ever calls me 'Mum' I'll kick him in a
place that's apt t'leave him less useful t'you."

Kaylira snickers, "I shall do. Does it bother you so much that I find them
attractive? I thought about Y'il - it might be the stumble with Ursa's boy
- see? Boy. He's nigh a man, though. I think I'm afraid of someone who isnt
sure of himself - or at least well on the way there."

"I find it more than a wee bit disturbing." Kassi crinkles her nose at her
daughter. "But I'm nay sure how much I can be talking. If'n Rulyn does
Impress, he'll certes be a man once he graduates--that should settle the
compulsion t'call him a lad. Y'il? He's a clutchmate of yours, isn't he?
Sometimes there's something pleasant about pairing with someone who's still
learning the game... you've a chance t'make sure the early experience isn't
poor, y'know?"

Kaylira doesnt' deny that. "I'm not done finding out what I like. Some
might say I'm the older if I were to pick say Y'il. He's only coming up on
17 turns, you know."

Kassima points out, "Well, then you *would* be the elder. There's naught
wrong with that if'n you liked the man--I favor younger men m'self, I'll
confess it. Seventeen... that can be old or young for a rider; depends on
the lad."

Kaylira laughs, a note of near-shocked appreciation in her tones. "Mum! You
scoundrel. If I'd known, we coudl have compared notes long ago! Shall I
tell you what I've enjoyed about these older men?"

Kassima's own laugh is slightly embarrassed, but honestly amused all the
same. "I'm surprised you *didn't* know--well, but E'vrin did look older
than he was. And Jh'rin was near enough in age, really... now, that
depends; how scurrilous would these details be?"

Kaylira shrugs. "Well, I like that the men I've been with know what they
like from a woman and how to please me. Too much information?"

"Nay, that's only common sense. Though nay all elder men would really know
that," Kassi muses, combing hair back from her eyes. "And you might be
surprised how much some of the younger men know--depending, y'know, on the
lives they've led."

Kaylira does seem surprised by that. "You think? maybe I'll have to find out."

Kassima nods confirmation. "Nay only think, but know. If'n a young man's
been a rider for a time, say--and is a bit of a rakish sort--well, chances
are excellent that they've as much experience as you could want. And you
won't be so much at a disadvantage, so t'say; 'tis possible there'll be
things you can teach 'em in exchange."

Kaylira laughs again until she must sigh to take another breath. "I didn't
say I wanted a rake. There's confidant and then there's plain too much. A
balance, though. that would suit. Someone sure enough, but not so casual as
to leave any other hopes out." Perhaps she's not as casual about never
mating as she claims.

Kassima chuckles softly. "Nor did I say a rake, only a bit of a a rakish
sort. A very important distinction." Smiling faintly, she quips, "You'll
cut down your number of lovers if'n there needs t'always be a hope of
something more... but mayhaps 'tis for the best."

Kaylira asks, quietly, "And if its only one now? Who do I cut?"

"Number of lovers through your lifetime," Kassima clarifies. "I only mean,
there aren't as many there's hope of settling down with as there are who'd
nay mind a good time but don't want much more." She's quiet a moment, then
asks, "Which one is it? M'llon still?"

Kaylira nods at that. "Probably a simple guess. Hm?"

Kassima agrees, "Simple enough assuming you'd nay found a new man in the
intervening period... that he came looking for you argued well for his care
for you, if'n naught else. And I could tell you still cared for him."

Kaylira sighs deeply. "More fool me, I'm certain. Its not all easy, but I
think there's enough there for now. P'tod didn't deal well with who my
other choice was. And there haven't been any others showing interest.
M'llon says I should find others - I dont think he wants me to break with
him even so - but there hasn't been anyone yet."

Kassima muses almost to herself, "Jealous, like as nay... I recall what you
said of M'llon and Fluria. He might have nay wanted t'share another lover
with the man. Can't say I entirely blame him for nay liking it, though he
hadn't any right t'dictate your choice... well, you did mention that Y'il
lad. Mayhaps you should spend more time visiting other Weyrs--you might
find folk away from home who please you."

Kaylira snorts, "Fardling right he hadn't a place to tell me.. I've just as
much right as any man to find company that pleases. As often as it
pleases!" Her ire can still be got up over that, it seems. "And, well, at
least I know beyond a doubt that M'llon doesn't love her - even if he can't
help want her."

"You have," Kassima concedes, "just as he has the right t'want out the
relationship if'n he didn't care for something you did--just as you wanted
out based on something he did, if'n memory serves. You're sure of that one?"

Kaylira says "Which one?"

Kassima answers, tilting her head to the side, "That M'llon doesn't love
Fluria. How d'you know?"

Kaylira exhales softly, "Well, if you'd been there when he layed into me on
how ashamed he was that he couldn't say no to her because of Bromith.. If
there's a thing I am ready to accept, its that he doesn't love her. Might
never be free of her - but at least right now we're on even ground." She
pauses for a second. "Mabye less than even. I know this is odd, but
sometimes we don't have sex.. we just are together. They don't sleep
together just to be near."

"Ah," says Kassima, softly. "Probably he's telling you true, then--even
if'n he weren't trustworthy, which I'll assume he is if'n you like him so
well, that's nay the sort of thing men love t'be admitting. Ach, Kay--d'you
think that makes you on *less* even ground? I'd say it puts you higher.
Think about what you last said. He doesn't want t'just be *near* her; you,
he cares for, he doesn't need the sex t'make him happy t'be with you. I'm
sure he, err, enjoys that part too," and yes, she's turning red, "but your
company must give him a pleasure all its own."

Kaylira laughs, "Mum, I meant it put her on less ground. I'm not so stupid
.. well, a bit.. I had to struggle with it. Wanted to be someoen he
couldnt' resist.."

Kassima grins at that, with pride as much as amusement, and ruffles her
daughter's hair. "You're never stupid, but it certes took me much longer
than it took you t'learn that." And she still wouldn't believe it would
hold true for *her*, for all that she can see it when it comes to her
daughter. "Would you really want that, though? As I recall, being thought
of just for the sex part of things was one of the things you worried about
most."

Kaylira shakes her head. "No, not /just/ that. Its hard to accept he ..
when you're told you'd rather just hold and be near - knowing if you were
another body that wouldnt' be the answer.. thats hard.. Okay, so I want
both? But if I had to chose - I'd rather be me with him."

It's with some reluctance that Kassi admits, "I felt that way about E'vrin,
sometimes... I was fair certain he *always* bedded Sabra when they shared a
night, nay t'mention--later--however many other women they'd been. Me,
well, it seemed I didn't rate. Still. If'n it really starts t'eat at you,
mayhaps you should discuss it with him? Let him know how you feel and let
him tell you how he feels?"

Kaylira's head lies against your shoulder again. "He was tired. So much
work.. and he just wanted comfort. I offered to please him, and he said no.
Said he didn't want it to be just him. So I told him how I felt - that I
wasn't sure how to feel knowing he'd not be saying no to her. When I
thought about it - long enough to realize he'd asked me for more - it
didn't feel so bad."

Kassima reaches her arm around in another half-hug, almost without thinking
about it. "He asked for you something that she can't give him," she agrees
quietly. "She can take care of his sex drive, could probably wear him out
if'n he let her and she were so minded, but she can't comfort him if'n what
you've said is true. And if'n you show me one relationship centered on sex,
and another on such things as comfort and companionship, and asked me which
held more affection, I know which one I'd answer."

Kaylira relaxes into that embrace, taking it for the warmth of childhood
grown adulthood and bonds deepened. "I think I love him." AS though she
needed to say that. Or perhaps she did. If only to admit it, finally, to
herself.

Kassima exhales a long, slow breath. "I thought you might." Her voice is a
touch sad... but given her own bad luck in the court of romance, perhaps
she can't be blamed; she would be apt to fear the same for her daughter.
"He may never be ready t'settle down with you, at least nay monogamously.
Will you be all right with that?"

Kaylira smiles, its evident in her voice. Even if its not a glowing thing.
"I am now. He's Weyrleader. He has duties, and those are things I haven't a
place in. Even if it weren't for Fluria, he'd still have a mistress I
couldnt' compete with - we all do. So we take the smaller bits and make
them what we can. When it isn't enough, then I hope I have the strength
you've taught me to hold my head high and say so. Remain the friend I think
I am now."

"If'n I ever had a weyrmate, I'd nay endure a mistress." Kassi's blunt
about that. "But if'n I'd endure, then I might have a weyrmate, for all I
know. Anyway, that's still a ways from what we're discussing... with an
attitude like that, Kay, methinks you'll come out all right. You know the
realities and still hope for the best. But you don't rule out the fact that
you may nay get it. How did I ever have such a smart, wise child?" Turning
her head enough to press a kiss to the crown of her hair, she murmurs,
"Whatever happens, I doubt he could hope for a better friend than you,
m'dear."

Kaylira smiles, a kiss to your cheek. "I had a smart, wise mum who loved
me. Who knows what the future holds. I could still fall for someone I'd not
be willing to share - beyond what I had to by flights. I'd be many kinds of
a fool to think given the life thats chosen me that I can change everything
to suit - and mum? Are you happier without a weyrmate? You share any lover
you have. Its the same, really. When you think. The only difference is your
way you can say it didn't matter. My way.. I might have to say that I love
enough to trust. Myself if nobody else."

"Flights are inevitable," Kassima accedes without hesitation. "Even if'n
you weyrmated to a nonrider, there'd be *your* flights... am I happier?
Kay, that's moot for me." Her voice has gotten quite quiet. "I never had a
chance at a weyrmating. Nor will I. I don't have lovers. I had E'vrin, for
a time, but I didn't like sharing him and 'twasn't in the end willing t'do
it. Any future lovers I had, I'd only nay mind sharing if'n there wasn't
deep emotion behind it--if'n 'twere just for fun, with a friend." Careful
about wording that one, isn't she? "I'm alone, but I haven't settled for
less than what I want or what I believe I deserve t'have, so--I'm sorry I
don't have a 'mate, but I'm nay sorry I haven't had t'give up something I
think is important. If'n that makes any sense. You're a more tolerant woman
than I, and 'tis probably t'your benefit."

Kaylira reaches over to tuck a strand of your hair that doesn't need
tucking. "We are different women. Its how it should be. But dont think you
are past a chance to weyrmate. You are alive. Vital. Loving."

Kassima only shakes her head, an old shadow falling into her eyes and
dimming for a moment the brightness that was there. "I may--may well,
truth--have a lover; I may have more children yet, for all I know. But a
love I shan't have. Rare indeed is the man who finds aught appealing about
me, sexually; nonexistant is the man who finds aught appealing about me,
romantically. Women say I could have a weyrmate. Men don't." Her voice is
very quiet, likely as not to hide any emotion it might hold if she gave it
volume. "But we're nay here t'discuss me, m'heart, hey? This is time that
should be spent on you."

Kaylira laughs softly at that. "Why spent on me? I'm not worth more or less
than you."

"Because nay matter how old you get, you'll always be m'daughter," Kassi's
prompt to point out. "And m'time will always be given over more t'you. 'Tis
the way things work."

Kaylira pokes a gentle finer to your side. "You'll always be my mother, and
while you've many daughters, youre the only mum I have. don't downplay
that. I won't have it."

Illiana heads over from the central bowl.

Kassima laughs almost silently, leaning briefly against Kay's side. "Your
foster-mother might mind that," she teases, "and you really should visit
early enough in the day next time for her t'see you. Nay t'mention your
sibs. I am your mother, but 'tis the mother's role t'be listening to the
daughter's problems--nay vice-versa."

Illiana strolls over to the lakeshore, waving at Kassima and Kaylira

Illiana says "Duties! Do you mind if I join you tonight?"

Illiana smiles (a little less shyly this time)

Kaylira lifts her head from Kassi's shoulder. The embrace - while intimate
- carries no sexual overtones. And to any who would know the pair, woudl
know they are mother and daughter.

Kassima glances over in some startlement at hearing another voice. "Oh,
g'deve," she greets--the salutation interrupted by a yawn. "Shells and
shards. I don't mind, but I'm afraid I should be leaving... if'n you'll
forgive me for it, Kay? I don't know about you, but I've sharding early
drills and should get Kisai into a proper bed."

Illiana says "Wow, I didn't mean to interrupt a family gathering. Maybe we
could share Klah some other night?"

[Editor's Note:  At this point, it was very late at night; we explained
to Illiana that it wasn't her, we just needed sleep and this was a good
place for the scene to break.  Kay had to go straight away, thus why
there's no pose out for her.]

Kaylira grabs hold of the straps and swings a leg over, settling
comfortably upon Pheirth's neckridges.

Pheirth takes flight, using the thermals rising from the bowl to carry him
aloft.

Illiana sits down on the shore watching the lake and stars

"Nay much of a klah sort m'self," Kassi observes with a fleeting grin,
scooting away from her eldest in order to scoop up her youngest--a
dark-haired four-Turn-old who's been snoozing blissfully in the grass--and
gather her in close before standing. "She's getting too heavy for this sort
of thing," Kassi half-groans. "Mayhaps cider another evening,
though--g'night, both of you," and she smiles after her eldest by reflex,
then manages to climb one-handed onto her dragon.

You place one hand on Lysseth's neck and she warbles down at you fondly.
You grin and scratch her eyeridges once before climbing up onto her lower
neckridges, using the riding straps and Lysseth's thoughtfully offered
foreleg.

<*> Lysseth spreads her wings to their full extent, bringing them down with
a rush of wind as she leaps nimbly into the air.

You spring into the air and catch the thermals rising from the bowl floor
to carry you aloft.