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I'll Tell You What I Want, What I Really, Really Want


Date:  October 4, 2003
Place:  Telgar Weyr Living Cavern
Game:  PernMUSH
Copyright Info:  The World of Pern is copyright(c) to Anne McCaffrey 
l967. The Dragonriders of Pern(r) is a registered copyright.

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Kassi's Note:  This scene takes place a few hours after I'sai left 
the Living Cavern in the last one, which should explain why Kassi's
merrily playing with colored clay when Yselle comes in. ;)  The
greenriders talk about this and that, the main subjects including  
the notorious bronzerider himself and Ys's desire for a 
spawningnancy to call her own.

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The Log:

Yselle walks in from the bowl.

Pierron tells a lower caverns girl to hurry up with the dishes.


[Editor's Note:  For fun, I'm going to include Pierron's 
rumors here since I checked them at this point--and 
promptly sent Is a +mail to express my appreciation of 
the newest addition. ;) ]

---

The scuttlebutt about the weyr, according to Pierron:
"Deplorable rumors, in my opinion. Of course, the girl's also been spending
quality Shipfish time with K'nan, who's himself just separated from
Ryialla, sweet girl that she is even if that puppet is very fiendish
indeed, and weyrmated himself to Merielan who insists that she's not with
child, really, she was just joking about the twins. Right in front of that
Weyrsecond, no less, and the Thunderbolt wingleader who's with child as
well, though with quite a different bronzerider indeed! And them all
divvying up the planet between them. That greenriding Weyrsecond is
pregnant again--and after swearing up and down that she'd never be! Even
better, the Weyrleader's the father! I can't imagine the Weyrwoman, his
*weyrmate*, is very happy about that. Trouble among the leadership, mark my
words. It seems that girl M'dei brought up from Southern has a crush on a
certain bluerider with...connections, shall we say? She's going to bake him
things, and we all know where that leads! How many times do I have to tell
these riders? Know your limits!"

---


In the deep dark dead hours of the night, nearly every sound can be heard,
Yselle's soft padded footsteps from the bowl are no exception. She slips in
from the bowl looking sleepy, wearing pyjamas, a dressing gown and some
cute pink fluffy slippers, although, unlike most of her clothes, all of
these, including the slippers, appear to be oversized for her, and the flap
flap of the shoes is the origin of the sound of her approach. She yawns,
mutters sleepily, "Milk."

In the dead, dark hours after midnight, when the world seems to stop in its
place, you can see a little more clearly; you can look your life in the
face. Unless, of course, you're Kassima. In that case, you don't spend the
post-midnight hours in contemplation--you spend them building little human
figures out of colored clay and making them duel each other. "Whoosh! 'I've
got you now, you lecherous bastard! I'm going t'take away the most
important thing in the world t'you!' 'Nay! Nay!'" the blue-colored figure
'squeaks.' "'Nay my--owwwww! Aiiiigh! I'm bleeding! I'm *bleeding*! Help
me! Ugh!'" She lets the blue figure fall face-down on the table, a sad
gouge in the clay where his family jewels would be if he had them. Let's
assume he didn't. Kassi's not quite that twisted. "'Victory is mine!'" she
sings out for the green figure, dancing it all around the table. Of course,
the arrival of someone in pinked slippers catches her notice; she quips,
"Interesting footwear you've got there, Ys."

[Editor's Note:  Credit goes to Mercedes Lackey, for those 
lyrics from 'After Midnight' I shamelessly borrowed. :) ]

Yselle pauses, observing the scene with all the comprehension of someone
who's just woken up, which is to say, she stares vacantly at the scene
before asking "What did Tel do now? He's going to miss those you know. I
figured he'd be back to bug you now he's decided he likes the single life."
She rubs her eyes and mutters "Yeah, well, they're my sister's. Ground's
cold. Didn't expect anyone to be up."

Kassima asks, surprised, "Who said 'twas T'van? 'Twas meant t'be L'cher."
She studies her figures. "Granted, I didn't spend enough time making 'em
for there to be much of a resemblance. I figured when 'twas just going
t'maul the blue one, 'twould be a waste... I cound enact a mauling of T'van
too, though, if'n you'd like me to." She's kept the green figure doing a
vague jig around the table as she speaks. "Haven't seen him about. As for
being up, m'sleep schedule's naught if'n nay erratic these days. Can't nap
half the afternoon and still get t'bed at a decent hour. Can you nay sleep?"

Yselle shrugs, "My schedule's been thrown out too," she mumbles. "Oh...
L'cher, right," she says that in the blank tone of someone who's never
experienced his proclivities. "Well from all I heard he needs it. Is Javi
still paired with him for sweeps?" she yawns and asks "Is it because of the
baby?"

"Shells, nay. Nay regularly at least. Everyone ends up paired up with him
now and then." Kassima finally lets the green clay 'rest,' picking up the
blue and setting about remolding it into a less damaged shape. "Part of
having Levarn here, the schedule thing? The baby's indeed the reason. I'm
tired enough t'get plenty of sleep, but exactly where and when that sleep
chooses t'strike isn't much under m'control." She pauses in her
fun-with-clay long enough to rest a hand on the now-obviously-rounded
abdomen, the gesture almost unconscious; likewise unconscious, her small,
half-dreamy smile.

Yselle looks somewhat self-conscious. "No," she mumbles, "Went to Fort a
few nights ago. Was up late. Slept late," which pinkens her cheeks
somewhat, "haven't really got back into my schedule yet." /She/ notices
that smile, that gesture, and she smiles wistfully at Kassima. "Would you
like something from the kitchen? I'm going to try milk," already she's
flap-flap-flapping that way.

"Ah, well. 'Tisn't as if'n I haven't done the same." Kassi's eyes gleam
with her amusement. "Many times over. Sometimes I think m'life's been a
study in 'how t'live on the world's craziest sleep schedule'--and this is
just another chapter. If'n absolutely all else fails, the Healers might
have some powders t'put you t'sleep or keep you awake enough t'get your
schedule back." Her smile turning sheepish for Ys's wistfulness, she says,
"I'm mostly fine... though if'n you happen across any berry bubblies, or
mushrooms, or spiderclaws, or some combination of the three of those, I'd
nay mind a snack. Only if'n 'tis already out and nay trouble, mind you."

Yselle looks even more self-conscious, being caught out like that. "Yeah,
well, got a message that /had/ to be delivered, and hm, was the first
person they found. I remember having trouble sleeping with Levarn. That was
so long ago." She disappears into the kitchen then, the flapping of her
shoes echoing back through to the caverns. Reemerging with a mug and a
plate with a solitary bubbly on it, she mutters "Wasn't much out. Sorry, is
this okay?" she heads over to Kassima, and hovers, offering her the plate.
"I guess... would anyone mind if I sat with you for a while?"

Kassima snorts with soft humor. "Probably the urgency wasn't as great as
'twas made t'sound. Precious few are the messages that can't wait an hour
or so i'truth; even if'n at the *time* it seems they must-must-must get
there now-now-now. Ah, well. Mind? Who's t'mind? The Wing table's mine,
sort of; I don't think anyone will naysay someone I invite t'sit--and even
if'n they would, most of m'saner Wingmates have gone t'bed. Help yourself
to a chair. And thankee." She takes the plate, flashing up a smile; the
clay gets very carefully set to the side, where it's safe from crumbs.
"'Twill do fine. I had a huge dinner, so I shouldn't eat too much more
anyway."

Yselle shrugs. "I don't know. They didn't say much about it. Just that it
was needed right now, and when I got there, the master I was delivering it
to was so grumpy I woke him up he shut the door on my face." She yawns. "Oh
well, as long as it's Okay," she curls into a chair with her mug of milk.
"If Tel were here he'd try and spike this," she notes, peering at the mug.
She holds it in both hands, inhales the steam above it, and takes a sip.
"Where'd you get the clay?"

"Well, *there's* a polite Master for you. Honestly." Kassima rolls her eyes
ceiling-wards. "Naught you could do about it, but I could wish someone who
*could* do something had seen that; 'tisn't proper behavior towards a
visiting rider. All's well that ends tolerably, though, and all that. Spike
your mug?" The mug is eyed. The greenrider shudders. "Alcohol and milk
would be a *vile* combination. At least you could probably taste it. And
punch him in the groin. 'Tis a Turnday gift from Is and Kiss, would you
believe?" she asks with a sudden, affectionate grin. "Trust that man and
our darling hellion t'get me *toys*. It promises t'be very therapeutic,
this clay." Oh, so *that's* what she calls neutering little clay men.
Therapeutic.

Yselle leans back in her chair, "Oh well, it can't be helped," she mutters.
"Too tired to come home though," there's that faint blush. "So, huh, well I
never tried it, but Tel swears that alcohol's the best way to get to sleep.
If you ask me, it's got more to do with what he gets up to when he's
drunk." At Kassima's suggestion, she shrugs and admits "Well you know, you
have to do him credit for one thing, he makes beautiful children. That's
saved his groin from me on more than one occasion." She glances at the
clay, and picks up a piece, warming it in her hand, whilst the other holds
the mug. "Huh. Fancy. Who'd have guessed?"

Kassima curves a wry half-smile. "If'n 'twere so tired as that, better that
you sleep than try t'come home. You'd nay have been the first pair t'die
that way." Let's hear it for being forthright. "The best way? Fff. 'Tisn't
a *bad* way, only there are better methods--including the one you mention,
I imagine. You wouldn't have t'*permanently* damage him. Just bruise him a
little." The blue figure gets a considerating glance over her bubbly, but
mercifully, she doesn't pick him up to demonstrate. "He does make lovely
children, or at least one lovely child. Guessed what, that they'd get me a
present? Or that they'd get me clay?"

Yselle huhs. "That's what the weyrsecond said," she mutters uncomfortably.
"So anyway, Dianneth refused to go and uh... well, so we didn't. But
anyway," she seems eager to get off that subject. "I guess I just like Tel
the way he is, you know? He's a pain, but he's... well, he's him, and I
wouldn't give Levarn back for anything." After a moment, she leans forward
and confesses "You know, sometimes I think about asking him, you know,
about a little sibling for him. Do you think that's silly?" she's blushing
hard. The last question is met with a "The clay."

"'Tis truth he spoke t'you. Wise of Dianneth t'be refusing. She might know
best; though in any situation like that, you'd have her double-check your
visualization with the watchdragon here, a'course, so you'd likely be fine
either way. Still, nay use taking chances when there's nay need." Kassi's
willing enough to let it drop, after that. "The classic story of
friendship. Is there really anyone who *isn't* a pain from time t'time?
Yet, amazingly, most of us are cared about by someone anyway. Silly?" The
earlier wry smile returns; she leans in, and drops her voice, to thwart any
eavesdropping that might be in progress. "I don't think so. If'n he were
aware of how important 'tis t'you, he might even nay tease you too
terribly, or make a fuss over it being you that asked. 'Tis an enviable
thing t'have a friend you're close enough to t'be comfortable asking that
question." At the last, she admits, "'Tis unusual even for him, and he's
gotten me some delightfully strange things. Nay so odd for Kiss, though."

Yselle mutters in a slightly exasperated tone "Dianneth has her own mind
about a lot of things. As for Tel... I don't know, Levarn is the most
wonderful child, and Tel, he's really enthusiastic, you know? Loves him,
I'd never leave him to take care of a baby, but he's a great father in his
own way, it's just..." she shrugs, "he sleeps with everyone, you know? It's
not special to him, I love him very much, not in /that/ way, you know, but,
I don't want to be just another notch on his bedpost. I want to be special
to him. I don't think I would be then. I guess..." she shrugs "I shouldn't
worry so much about it. Anyway, I guess I never really thought about what
sort of presents I'sai would give," she squishes the warm clay between her
fingers. "Kind of nice of him."

Kassima says, slowly, "I don't know... that you'd *stop* being special with
him just for the lying with him, particularly if'n you both knew 'twas all
for the sake of producing a child; given his love for his son, just being
the mother of a child of his would likely make you special. Being his best
friend would always make you special. Your friendship endured one bedding,
so m'guess 'twould be that it could endure another, so long as each of you
knew exactly what was going on and exactly what you wanted and exactly
where you stood. Know, mind, that I'm nay expert in these matters; certes
nay in relationships. You might well want other opinions on all this. I do
know what you mean about wanting another child with a man you know produces
good ones. And loves them." She's smiling again, less at Yselle herself
this time then at some other thought. "Well. 'Tis definitely nice of him.
We've given each other Turnday presents off and on, for Turns; and
occasionally gifts for other reasons, or seemingly just because. He's
always fair thoughtful about them. The gifts he gives *Kisai*, now--they've
more oft than aught else been loud musical instruments. That's thoughtful,
too, in its way, but I've still occasionally thought fondly of lynching him
for it."

Yselle shrugs. "It was awkward and horrid last time, and I guess... well, I
don't want to keep things on that level with him, you know? I think it'd be
harder not to. This is so weird, talking about this, isn't it? My family
would be horrified." But off that topic, "Really? How do you do that? Be
friends with him, I mean. When I'm with I'sai, I just get really frustrated
and... it all gets messy. It's probably a good thing weyrlinghood wasn't
any longer, although I see what you mean about the instruments."

"Weird? I suppose in a sense. Nay that strange for Weyrs, really, and 'tis
far from the first conversation I've had with a woman wanting a child and
considering how t'go about it. Or who t'go to." Kassi chases the last scrap
of bubbly with a gulp of milk, and sets about to delicately picking each
abandoned crumb from her plate. "I don't know that I can explain. We've
nigh always been friends, since I knew him after his graduation. He...."
She pauses a moment, searching for words. "He makes sense t'me. And I
t'him, apparently. He understands me; and I him, to a degree, or so I
believe. He knows the worst of who I am and likes me anyway. We've certes
fought and certes angered each other; but it ends, and when the day's done,
I'd take a crossbow bolt for him, though I doubt he'd believe me if'n I
told him so. I don't know that he'd do the same, but I don't really expect
him to. 'Tis all well. You aren't alone, though, in being frustrated by him
or having things be messy; he can confuse, when he wants to. And when he
doesn't. Just how he is, methinks."

Yselle shrugs and admits "It kind of all got weird back there, and now I
don't think he really likes me much and I don't really know what to do
about it." She takes a sip of her milk. "Maybe I don't know if I want to,
you know? I don't know. He frustrates me, and sometimes I wonder if there's
any point in picking at it. It's just weird, talking to you about him, and
listening to all the nice things he does for you. I just don't understand
him at all." After a moment she says "You want to know what Tel did for my
turnday?"

Kassima laughs low under her breath, sympathy in the sound. "As hideously
annoying as I know 'tis whenever anyone says something like this, 'tis a
thing that might pass given enough time and distance from the, ah,
weirdness. I probably would advise you nay t'pick too hard. Letting it get
under your skin won't go any distance towards letting you be friends--or at
least acquaintances without the awkwardness--later. I can tell you though
that he's a good man. A very good man, when he has a mind t'be." On the
other subject: "Oh, what did he do? Tell me he didn't drape himself naked
in your bed and tell you he was your present."

Yselle starts to giggle. She tosses her bit of clay at the emasculated blue
figure. "Oh Faranth no. Thank goodness, although please don't say that
around him, he'd do it if he could get a reaction out of me. No, he
decorated my whole weyr... he was living there just then... with ribbons he
stole from stores. Naturally, they were an /awful/ mess the next day,
knotted everywhere, but at the time, they were draped on everything. And he
found flowers and put them everywhere too. In fact, I'm /still/ finding
dead flower petals where I least expect it. He got a harper apprentice to
sit on my bed and sing me this ridiculous song he'd composed about a girl
and a boy who grew up together, and how much the girl fell in love with the
boy, of course. It had... oh, ten verses at least," she's smiling warmly.
"How he convinced the apprentice to /sing/ the thing I don't know, but at
least /Tel/ didn't try and sing it. And he had a cake baked for me with the
words 'A turn older, but as ugly as ever' iced on it."

Kassima reaches to catch the bit of clay neatly, and sets it down beside
its other-colored brethren. "Trust me, I won't--both t'protect you *and*
t'protect m'self, in case. Nay that the Swarm would let him get away with
it. Oh, *dear*. The ribbons and flowers sound delightful," she agrees,
grinning, "if'n also delightfully messy, and at least he didn't get you a
*stripper*, but seranading? And a cake with *that*? How did he possibly
escape being slaughtered?"

Yselle starts to giggle, turning an interesting shade of red at the
suggestion of the stripper. "Oh /shells/ no. Could you imagine? I'd be
lucky if the two of them didn't decide to use my bed -- again. Tel never
could resist a stripper. You know though..." she looks amused. "I bet he'd
like one for /his/ turnday." As for the cake, she shrugs, seeming amused.
"You've got to understand... from him, it's a compliment. Kids at home used
to tease me, you know? But Tel never ever did."

"I can imagine," Kassima confirms at her driest. "Only too well. *Gah*, but
the using your bed would be a twist--and a sharding unwelcome one--you
ought t'talk to Talisha if'n you're wanting a stripper; she could possibly
tell you how t'hire V'der. I don't know if'n he strips for men, though. I
don't know of any female strippers." Under her breath, she adds, "Thanks be
t'the stars. Children can be cruel--'tis more credit t'him, though, that he
didn't, and another piece of understanding of why you put up with him."

Yselle shrugs ruefully. "Sometimes they'd say I was pretty, just to laugh
at me, you know? But Tel, he made it sound like something to be proud of."
She sips her milk again. "And he wouldn't object to a male stripper /or/ a
female one. The man will sleep with anything with a pulse."

Kassima agrees at once, "Oh, I know; or could guess," wryly. "'Tis more
that I don't know, personally, of any strippers who strip for their same
gender. That might just be because I don't know many strippers. Children
are cruel," she repeats. "M'middle son--the one who's a twin--he's... well,
he is pretty. He looked more lass than lad much of his youth, y'ken? He's
still closer t'lovely than handsome. And dead sensitive about it, the
moreso for having a father known for sitting in bronzeriders' laps, if'n
you get me, and I know some of the other children would call *him* pretty
t'laugh at him. I don't know why kidlings sometimes get such pleasure from
tormenting one of their number, but they do."

Yselle shrugs ruefully. "Well for all his faults, Tel's always been there
when I needed him, well, except once," she grins and says "When I was
having his son. Kind of ironic. And he's so good looking, you know? And
fun, and great to be around, he was my friend, and that helped, I guess.
Everyone liked him, well, mostly, when he hadn't done something completely
stupid to annoy them. That happened often enough." She sips her milk again
and nods thoughtfully at the tale of Kassima's son. "I guess I never
thought of looking /good/ being a problem. I hope they're not too horrid to
him?"

"He'd have been there had he known," Kassi half-supposes, half-asserts,
offering a grin with some wryness of its own. "He does have a certain
charisma; I won't deny that, even if'n I still have nay wish t'sleep with
him. And there's a decent heart behind it t'back it up unless I much miss
m'mark." She tips her mug back towards her, crinkling her nose at the milk
it contains. "They aren't anymore. At least nay the ones who know him. Ky's
fifteen now, and for Turns he and Kimlyn have been beating up the ones who
gave him trouble, I gather. They aren't bullies, but... well, anyway, I
don't think they've done much fighting for the past Turn or so. Puberty's
making Ky look a *little* more manly, and he's always done his best t'leak
his concept of machismo from every pore, lest anyone get the shadow of a
notion that he likes other boys that way."

"Maybe," Yselle agrees. "Maybe I should have told him. Not that he could
have done much until he was out of weyrlinghood. I suppose we could have
come here, maybe," she shrugs. "But honestly, I was better at home, I
think. Sort of. So... it's Ky and Kimlyn? They're the twins?" She grins
ruefully and says "Well, I can understand that. My brother would probably
feel the same if he were pretty like that."

Kassima's agreement is gentle: "He'd probably have liked t'know, whether he
could've done aught or nay. For a child's birth he might have been
permitted t'come to the Holding on an adult dragon, at least for a short
time--'tisn't *common*, for Weyrlings t'leave that way, but nay unknown
either. But done's done, and it worked out well enough, and you're all
happy with your beautiful son, which is as fine an ending as anyone could
wish for. Kimlyn and Kyjain," she confirms with the automatic grin speaking
of her children always brings. "Kim's the elder by a minute or two. Lass
and lad, a'course, though in their youth you might nay have known it--they
a'course aren't identical, but they look a sharding lot alike all the same.
Used t'play all those twin-tricks of switching places with each other when
they could get away with it. Is your brother, ah, particularly bothered by
same-gendered pairings? Or does he just nay want anyone assuming he swings
that way? Can't say I can't understand the last."

"I was pretty mad at him for a while," Yselle confesses. "And he didn't
come home, and well," she shrugs. "I guess I should have. You know,"
changing to the other topic, "I've always thought it'd be fun to have a
twin. Someone to do everything with... hey, I guess I had Tel.. but it
always seemed like magic. They get on pretty well then? Lien... he's, I
don't know, he's the oldest, and I don't really know him as well as I do
Vannia, but he's a miner like my Dad, and you know what they're like. He'd
cop it if anyone ever thought he were interested in other men."

Kassima muses thoughtfully, "Sometimes they don't. Go home, I mean.
Methinks Javi said *she* hasn't been; it surprised me--the new life's so
different from the old, though, I suppose 'tis easy t'get caught up in it,
or if'n what you've left isn't something you want t'return to, t'never go
home again 'tall. Methinks I sometimes had that same thought," she adds,
grin returned. "Fortunately, Kisai's having it too; only with her, she's
thinking 'full sibling' in place of 'twin.' The twins are the only full
sibs in m'brood up until now, so 'tisn't so unnatural... these days,
actually, they quarrel a lot. They've got different interests. Kimlyn wants
t'go out riding her runner instead of tunnelsnake-hunting with Kyjain;
Kyjain won't play chess with Kimlyn; if'n you ask me, both their feelings
are hurt, though Ky at least would never admit as much. 'Twill hopefully
pass. They just couldn't be constant companions forever." An amused sound
escapes her for knowing what Miners are like. "Some of it. I've a cousin.
I'truth, I understand it--living here, riding, has shown me there's naught
*wrong* with men loving other men or women other women. Love is love.
Pleasure's pleasure too, come t'that. But I, I don't find women attractive;
I like men, and I'd just as soon the world were clear on the fact. So
anyone who gets flustered if'n someone thinks their preference might be
what 'tisn't... 'tis something I sympathize with."

Yselle shrugs. "Tel didn't really fit in at home, I think. I mean, he
/did/. Everyone loved him, even when he drove them crazy, well, except my
father," that's said with a rueful laugh. "Evin's not so thrilled with Tel;
not terribly disposed to forgive him for staying away." She drains the milk
in her cup, muttering "Ugh, cold." But back to the story, "It was quite a
shock for everyone when they found it Sav didn't stand for Savvia, or
Savvette or anything like that. He told /me/ long ago, how he felt, but it
wasn't exactly easy at home." She puts the cup on the table, drawing her
knees up against her chest, and resting her head on them. "It all seems
weird, twins not wanting to be together all the time. Guess I don't really
know any twins. Kassi... has a woman ever told you you were beautiful?"

"You can fit in without really *belonging*. I was scarcely an outcast in
m'family; but I didn't really belong there, when push came t'shove, and I'm
glad the life I did belong in found me." Kassima casts a fond look out
towards the Bowl, towards the dark green dragon who sleeps there. "I should
get more milk for m'glass; want fresh, while I'm up? It would have t'come
as a shock. 'Tis well that your family accepted it as well as it sounded
like they did, really." The rider hooks fingers through the handle of her
mug, rising. "They did when 'twere younger, and mayhaps if'n 'twere both
the same gender they still might, but y'know teenaged lads, and teenaged
lasses; some do get along, but others? They'll always be close, but they
have other friends now. 'Tis hard on them both. They might come out of it
the richer for it nevertheless. Or so I tell m'self whenever I find m'self
worrying about 'em." A moment of silence follows Ys's query, before Kassi
grins one of her wry grins. "Several, if'n you can credit it; it oft
surprises me. You yourself called me pretty when you did m'hair, as I
recall. I believe more women have said it than men."

"You are pretty," Yselle says quickly, and certainly. "I guess I meant... I
don't know." Her ears are pink though, so perhaps she's not being
completely honest. "Oh," she looks down at her empty mug, saying "Do you
want me to get it? I'm not pregnant you know." She pulls her feet down from
in front of her, preparing to get up. "Well, as for Tel, they didn't really
/like/ it. His mother was sure it was all my fault, since I'm the mother of
his child, I should have weyrmated him. Imagine. Living with him on
purpose. Two sevendays was more than enough for me." She pauses and says "I
love listening to you talk about your children. A lot of people don't
understand you know? They don't have them, or they don't want them. Me..."
the look of longing is naked on her face for a moment. "Dianneth doesn't
really understand either, but she realises it's important to me; just one
of those things that we don't quite agree on."

Kassima watches the pink ears with puzzled eyes; hazards, "Did you mean,
have I ever had a woman flirt with me? The Weaver Craftmaster seems t'think
she's in love with me and has made an attempt or two t'convince me t'go
t'bed with her, if'n that counts. And there've been proddy greenriders
who've given me that look. A side-effect of their proddiness more than
aught, methinks. Shells, don't fash yourself--when I'm eight months along
and big as Lysseth, then, then 'twill be horribly selfish and let everyone
who wants to fetch food for me, but for now I still have legs that work--"
She's laughing as she says it, holding her hand out for the mug. "And you
got the bubbly earlier. Turnabout's fair play. *Your* fault--as if'n he'd
nay have been bedding men anyway, whoever his weyrmate was? Pshh! I guess
his mother would have t'blame someone else. Oh, Ys," her voice gentles, "I
do know. I wanted another so much after Kisai had a few Turns. There's
naught I can say t'help beyond that you're certes young enough nay t'worry
about going barren a'fore you get the chance yet. Small comfort mayhaps,
but. At least I'd guess Dianneth would probably put up with a bairn, since
'tis so important t'you?"

"Really?" Yselle seems to find Kassima's weaver tale quite surprising, for
all she's dodged around this subject for a while. "A rider at High Reaches
said I was beautiful," she confesses. "It was nice, you know? She meant it.
I mean... she's probably half-blind or something, but..." she shrugs, and
capitulates on the matter of the milk, handing her mug to Kassima. "Well
don't hesitate to ask me, about you know, getting you things when you need
it. I remember how it was to be big and pregnant. And... maybe, you know,
my time will come the next time Dianneth flies. Or the time after. Or
something. Or..." she shrugs. "I don't know. Shells I feel stupid."

Kassima bobs her head agreeably once she's returned with freshened mugs,
one of which she sets in front of Yselle. "Really. I don't much know why,"
she adds, settling back into her seat. "I mean, I know why she started
looking at women, but why *me* I don't know. Evidently it has something
t'do with my chest." That couldn't be any drier if it tried, but for all of
that a touch of color still rises in her cheeks. "Did she? Can't be
half-blind, nay unless she's been retired. Were you... well, interested?"
No censure in the query, only curiosity. "I hate t'be putting anyone
t'trouble--besides mayhaps Is, given givens!--but 'twill recall it. That
time might well come; you just can't know. M'first was from one of
Lysseth's flights, and m'third, and m'sixth. But all the rest were from
situations I certes didn't foresee, complete surprises t'me. Why feel
stupid? You want a bairn; you're nay in a relationship currently; you
aren't certain when you could have one; you're speculating. There's naught
in that that's stupid."

Yselle shrugs. "Maybe she's just got good taste," she says, as though the
matter of the attraction to Kassima weren't any big mystery. As for
Kassima's question, she blushes a little "I don't know. I don't think so.
It's just... it was nice to hear. I don't think she meant it like that,
really. She's pregnant too, you know," she laughs a little and confesses
"It seems like everyone is. Maybe it's just me noticing it."

Kassima flashes a warm, sheepish smile. "Thankee, Ys. I know what you
mean--'tis nice t'hear for me, too, whether from women or men; compliments
are. 'Tis quite possible that she didn't, or even if'n she did, a
compliment still 'twould be... oh, was she?" She laughs, too. "These things
do seem t'hit in epidemics. 'Tisn't actually that bad here right now.
There've been times you couldn't turn around and spit, if'n 'twould be
uncouth enough t'do so in the first place, without hitting a pregnant
woman; and a few Turns back, it seemed like everyone everywhere was having
sets of twins. Twins at Ista, twins at Igen, twins at High Reaches. Insanity."

Yselle giggles a little. "I guess I know a few people who aren't. None of
my clutchmates have been, yet, although it's too soon to tell about Mirah I
suppose, with the flight, and well..." she shrugs, "Never mind. So maybe
not everybody."

"Mirah." Kassi sounds surprised enough that the thought must not have
occured to her. "She could be, couldn't she? Wonder what R'var would make
of that. Cav's got another on the way with that weyrmate of his, so he's
certes capable... never sired a won-flight child in his life, though.
Interestingly enough. I guess we'll be finding out. Javi and Gay don't seem
in any hurry t'have 'em, any road." Abruptly, she brightens. "Which is
reminding me, I didn't show you what Gay gave me, did I? Or part of it; the
rest I can't wear yet, 'tisn't the season. But nay, nay everyone."

Yselle is easily enough steered away from the topic, only saying at the
last "As long as R'var doesn't give her one. We don't need any more of
/him/. What did she give you?"

"If'n she does ask him t'weyrmate," Kassi philosophizes, "and he says aye,
they'll likely end up with one soon or late. He scarcely comes from an
infertile family. Look--" For the third time just today, she draws the
chain around her neck out with her thumb, letting the dangling pendant
emerald glitter in the glowlight. "This, t'match Javi's earbobs, and a
sweater her mother made with Lysseth on the back, and a set of mittens in
all sizes with Ks emblazoned on 'em. As a mentee gift after graduating,
methinks. I didn't expect it at all."

Yselle sniffs at the description of R'var's fertility. "Faranth save us,"
she mutters. She leans over to look at the ring. "Oh, isn't that lovely?
Gay's wonderful isn't she?" she smiles warmly. "so thoughtful of her. I've
been thinking of a present for her, you know. Vannia's feline's just had
kittens -- Levarn's been teaching them to swim," she smiles ruefully. "Do
you think she'd like one?"

Kassima lets the necklace fall back against her skin, nodding wholehearted
agreement. "I'm still surprised that she did it; she certes didn't have to,
'tisn't even as if'n mentee gifts are a common tradition! But I'm scarcely
going t'complain taht she did. Just treasure the result. Kittens...."
Nibbling at her lower lip, she says after a moment, "She *might*; with a
ground weyr she'd have an easier time of keeping a pet. At the risk of
spoiling the surprise, though, I'd ask her in advance of giving aught that
lives. She might very well love one, but she could also be allergic for all
I know."

Yselle's mouth drops open. "I never thought of that," she confesses. "Being
allergic. I thought about asking Vannia for a kitten, but honestly,
Dianneth wouldn't have any of it. She's only grudgingly accepted Levarn,
and the idea of maybe another one day. But that's beautiful, Kassi. Gay's
had a pretty rough time of it; I'm glad she's getting better."

"They're pretty things, kittens. I toyed with the notion once, but between
the fire-lizards, the children, a dragon, a Wing, and technically a duck,
though Khari looks after Dismay more than I do... m'children have ended up
with all the pets I ever won or was given, actually, porcine and duck and
ferret all." Kassi gives a rueful smile. "Just isn't enough time. Probably
better for you that Dianneth's so fussy, in the long run. I am, too. She's
come out of it much better than some do who are too far behind t'graduate
for whatever reason; and there's still nay a hint of arrogance anywhere in
her."

Yselle nods enthusiastically. "I'm really glad Liabeth found Gay. I can't
think of anyone else in my class who'd do as well -- well maybe Javi, Javi
would have been a wonderful weyrwoman too. You have a duck? Wow."

Kassima nods too, and says, "Sometimes you can't really tell who'd be best
at what on the surface. I'd think Gay would have made a fine fighting
rider, with her bent for strategy; a weyrwoman doesn't much need that. But
she should make a good golder too. And Javi, being gently-reared and all,
might i'truth seem an obvious choice for a gold, but she's a good fighter
and perfect for Naelanth. So there you go. I do after a fashion; she
doesn't stay in m'weyr anymore, she stays with Khari in the Caverns. But
she's a pretty thing. Daughter of Schmitt's duck, from back when Schmitt
was still at Igen."

Yselle listens, pulling her knees back up to her chest again. "Oh well, it
just seems to me that Javi could do anything," she confesses. "She's the
best friend I've got besides Tel. I miss being in the same wing as her.
Still, Dawnslight's a good wing, and you get used to the early hours... if
you haven't had your sleep all messed up."

"I daresay she'd be flattered t'hear you say so," Kassima observes, smiling
at her friend. "Given time t'get used to the schedules and you may find
more time t'spend with each other than you have now; I hope so, knowing she
values your friendship too. 'Twill nay deny that Dawnslight's a right fair
Wing, even if'n you'll have t'excuse me for nay thinking 'tis the best."

Yselle grins. "Of course," she says easily. "I'd be a bit upset if M'teh
favoured Thunderbolt. Oh well, Javi knows I think she's wonderful, or at
least, I'm sure she must. I don't know if I ever came out and /said/ it.
Yeah, I'd love to see her more. I miss all our talks. But I'm glad she's
doing well in Thunderbolt, not that I'd expect anything else."

Kassima suggests, "If'n you ever get the chance and it seems appropriate,
you might. I always wonder how much goes unsaid between friends and
acquaintances that one thinks the other knows, when really they don't
realize 'tall. Anyway, *I'd* be a bit upset if'n M'teh favored Thunderbolt!
A'course we're the best, but 'tis his duty as Wingleader t'*pretend* his
own are!" Her eyes are dancing too much for this to be anything but tease.
"She does fine. As does Taylin. Credits to the Wing, both of 'em; if'n I
can only find blues as suited one of these days, 'twill be happy. I'm
wealthy in m'browns and greens."

Yselle quirks a smile at Kassima. "Maybe you're right," she murmurs. "Javi
though... she's... well," she shrugs and says "You're lucky to have her,"
and after a moment she adds "she's lucky to have you." She covers her mouth
as a yawn escapes her, and glances out at the lightening entrance to the
bowl. "Oh /Shells/, I guess I won't be getting back to sleep. I better run
before I'm doing sweeps in these slippers." Getting up, she murmurs "Maybe
people don't say things enough, so I guess.." she's pink as she tells
Kassima "I really appreciate you talking to me. I know you're busy, you've
got the wing, and you've got your kids, and you're pregnant and you've got
all sorts of things on your mind. I guess you have enough to do without
listening to me. So, thanks. You listen, and you don't judge what I say,
you just understand. It's good, and well, you know, I mean it, anything I
can do to help with the baby... I'd like to, you know. Maybe it's a bit
selfish of me, feeling like maybe I could be a part of it, but, just let me
know?" She shifts from foot to foot as if somewhat embarrassed. "So, uh,
sweep time. I hope you get to sleep." She scoots out before Kassima has a
chance to answer. Her face is red. Her slippers can be heard to flap flap
as she leaves.

Yselle walks down the short tunnel and out into the bowl.